<font class=z1>10/02/08</font>
<img src="http://cbimg6.com/graphics/08/09/62882c.jpg">
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<b>Mood</b>:okay..<br><br>
<b>Cranking</b>:Anything on my ipod.<br><br>
<b>Missing</b>: Bryan <br><br>
<b>Hearting</b>:Bryan<br><br>
<b>Last Update</b>:
ahhhh
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it's been a mighty long while; i had to deal with my ongoing crazyness; still can't sleep a decent night without my bendaryl; and i'm afraid of trying again...it hadn't been too long..and i don't seem to believe too much these days; though i did manage to see Little Lilly;
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my friend Ann finally her baby on the 30th; and it's been awhile..but it was crazy honestly...everyone was there waiting for Ann to have Lilly but that little girl was stubborn as a bell. And on the 30th; as soon as we left...near 6:30 ..Ann was going into labor.
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we were all pissed.
but all tired since most didn't sleep at all; and if we did sleep it wasn't too much. those waiting room couches were horrible to sleep on. so i didn't even try. but we did a alot to keep ourselves awake and that involved bugging each other. it was fun.
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i'm glad that i left and went there; i was so happy; am still so happy about Ann an d little Lilly. She's so cute; and sleeps alot.
besides that joy..i haven't still felt anybetter..
again..i'm skipping meals. i don't know why; but i am. i'm just not hungry anymore..
i guess it's my depression or whatever..
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and i was upset about Bryan though. But i found he was trying to send me messages and i can't recieve them for some odd reason. i talked to him last nite; i was highly upset. i didn't know if he was leaving me hanging..though i wouldn't dare consider that somehow..
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but he was pissed. and i realized that i would never go to college...that i can never do those things that they all can do. I can't do it. I can't seem to bring myself out of this mindset..>.> it sucks really. and my friend Andrew is crushing on me.
though myheart only belongs to Bryan..
O.o
this is just so weird. perhaps i'll get much thinner by the time he comes around for THanksgiving holiday? i can only hope. we're keeping in contact and that all matters..
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I don't doubt it.
and soon i'll have anew layout here made by my friend..can hardly wait about that ^^ WHOOHOO! but yeah i know..long entry but i have so much to say ....^^ i thought merely he wasn't telling me; because he was trying to be mean..but that didnt' sound like him..
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<P>Ayumi</P>
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<font class=z1>10/08/08</font>
<img src="http://cbimg6.com/graphics/08/10/63104c.jpg">
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<b>Mood</b>:content..<br><br>
<b>Cranking</b>:Tomba Music.<br><br>
<b>Missing</b>: Bryan <br><br>
<b>Hearting</b>:Bryan<br><br>
alot has happened in only 7 days..or rather a few days ago..but whatever. it has been something. AB was finally killed last week and Maddie kindly made us a new board at DL; though it makes no sense to me; but it does now.
it was sad; and also Karen who was my friend apparently was only using me to get to Bryan..>.> she's 16. she's way TOO young for him. it is a crime for her even to try;
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and also i found another little fan of mine.. Andrew aka Dragon Anubis. He likes me apparently; but i have no thoughts or eyes for no one but Bryan. but it has been interesting i won't lie. and i got a new bed as well ^^
and speaking of that..i'm sleeping well again ^^ no more nightmares or anything. that's awesome i must say..mwahha XD and a new layout is coming. My friend Norn is coding it for me. XD you'll be amazed.
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<P>Ayumi</P>
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