Mood:blah!..
Cranking:Uptown girl by Billy Joel..
Missing: Bryan and my sanity ..
Hearting:Bryan..
Last Update: ^_^ well i saw him today..i'm soo fucking happy..I CAN'T HARDLY BELIEVE IT! yes and i have pics of his crazy self..it's soo funny..i honestly didn't believe i'd see him today..but i did! Luck actually pulls me through and i was totally esactic(sp)
and when i did get to hug onto him.. I didn't let go..and boy how i feel when i was in his arms..but he was really tired and hadn't forgotten about my birthday! He got me a model toy 1963 Corevette yet he doesn't have a car either.. but I MISS HIM NOW!
my heart is swirly..i love it =) he tried to come over to my party but couldn't because his mum is stalin..but he was happy.. and i got play around with him..=)
though i haven't been feeling quite good..ive been trying to feel better..though it is hard myself. Honestly it is. and aunt Benita saved me.. wheeeeeeee only partially..and i got a sunburn again and he promised to talk to me more..=) how did i fall in love with the sweetest man ever?
anyhow..totally lost my cool and totally lost myself. Cried repeatedly..maybe i did want to cry when i saw him again..slammed doors when i got home. laid in my bed...and i was made to remember what is most important..SCHOOL! SCHOOL and if i have to do it..then i should do it for myself then do it for Aunt Benita as well..trying to play Xenosaga 2 because again..Bryan wants to know if i GOT on his game yet..lmao.. he always ask that.. i guess being an outcast isn't so bad
at least i have my dear lover to join me in that ranks.. GOD I HATE MY DEPRESSION! but yeah..i'm a live..and WILLING TO KILL..jk of course..i feel that bad..i might even have OCD..@_@ i wouldn't be amazed nor surprised. lol but yeah..
that is my super big rant enjoy..and maybe i'll stop hating myself..whatever..such bs.. but yeah..^_^ i'm lucky to be loved like i am
Ayumi
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09/01/08 
Mood:happy..
Cranking:Anthems of a 17 year old girl by BSS..
Missing: Bryan ..
Hearting:Bryan..
Last Update:
well.. bryan is being is usual cheery self. Lmao. He is still telling me he isn't good enough for me. it's annoying really. I told him repeatedly and i'll call him tomorrow..partly in wanting to hear his voice and talk to him regardless of what it is or was.
we'll be fine. I'm just so happy too much. just updating. I can't really say too much..=) i just miss him lots and can't wait to see him again and reassure him again. I love him too much for him to be stupid like he is..sometimes.. but hell
i must be some damn special person that he believes that about himself...i wonder why..calling him tomorrow.. ^^ and yes i'm alive..working all this week..*sighs*
Ayumi
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