Saturday, May 23, 2009

The end?

Like i said i have my own blog and this has served me well for so long. So i'm going to close it and just have it for memories; or archives as you like..

Have fun and do visit my new blog:

http://innocent-heart.zenphore.co.uk/

Thanks for all the support.Buh-bye

Love

Ayumi

Posted at 03:49 pm by Akkiko
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

6746

11/13/08

Mood: okay..

Cranking:nothing.

Missing: Bryan and playing twilight princess

Hearting:Bryan and TP

Last Update:

New tep layout. Tell me what you guys think XD

and yeah; life is okay for me now. My mum actually called me today and yesterday. She wants me to go to college. I'm so unsure of myself there. I wonder. And also I've gotten fired at Walgreens. I'm not sad really. I hated that place. and Besides it was time to move on..

i could tell. I am ready for bigger and better things ^^

Ayumi

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Posted at 01:02 pm by Akkiko
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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Layout

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Friends
<a href="http://little-ambiguousangel.blogspot.com/">Mamizu</a>,
<a href="http://outragedhope.tainted-paradise.com/">Tessa</a>,
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Phuong
is the personal blog of Ayumi Mizota. Here she spills her inner most secrets..and
flames..and rants as well as vents..^.^ all of life while she tries to figure that out..lol

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Love
<img src="http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/742/22344qe6.jpg">
&hearts;bf for a year and three months :D and the love of my life:
Patrick Bryan Easley :D.

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The girl

the princess/jacobin/outcast/ and gf &hearts;
.

</div></div>

11/07/08

Mood:tired..

Cranking:Sailor Moon Stars.

Missing: Bryan and Nichole *sobs*

Hearting:Bryan and stuff..>.> 
Last Update:

ahhh i've been weird these last past weeks..but that's to be expected. Shit. I talked to Bryan. And he's working extra jobs. I wonder what for..hmmmm..and i'm not sure if i'm on the schedule to work..tomorrow..or sunday..oh well. I did save my job..*sweatdrop*

oh at least Bryan still loves me ^^ i can be happy because of that. and that twit Karen has a bf..thank god. but everyone else is sad. No one else has anyone..oh well.

just updating! and i'm thinking of getting hosted too..

what do you guys think?

Ayumi

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10/23/08

Mood:hungry and tired..

Cranking:Bond of sea and Fire.

Missing: Bryan

Hearting:Bryan and stuff..>.> 
Last Update:

Sorry for not updating. Just been extremely busy..O.O i'm working alot more which is good but i hate it.-_- i rather be lazy..hahah XD nothing much on my front; except dealing with Karen..

Gawd. I have enough issues to deal with..ARGH! i'm not dealing with some fucking brat teenager who's immature..>.> 
 
 
and my family is just crazy. My cousin Jessie and Calais(her baby) are staying over because Jessie got into a fight with her bf..*sighs* what is wrong with the fucking world?

and Dave has been sick..but he's better! xd I worried very much about him; and now possibly Bryan. I know my guy is just a busy bee but i worry about him. That's a good way to kill yourself..-_- and <s>i kind of love him-</s> I love him. Period. xd I just miss. This distance is bad. Maybe i could find out where he lives and go to find him..and visit him XD

well my computer is busted and i'm using this laptop which isn't mine..-_-
well enjoy this.

my update XD

Ayumi

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Posted at 10:47 pm by Akkiko
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Thursday, November 06, 2008

Remember

10/02/08

Mood:okay..

Cranking:Anything on my ipod.

Missing: Bryan

Hearting:Bryan

Last Update:

ahhhh
 
it's been a mighty long while; i had to deal with my ongoing crazyness; still can't sleep a decent night without my bendaryl; and i'm afraid of trying again...it hadn't been too long..and i don't seem to believe too much these days; though i did manage to see Little Lilly;

my friend Ann finally her baby on the 30th; and it's been awhile..but it was crazy honestly...everyone was there waiting for Ann to have Lilly but that little girl was stubborn as a bell. And on the 30th; as soon as we left...near 6:30 ..Ann was going into labor.

we were all pissed.

but all tired since most didn't sleep at all; and if we did sleep it wasn't too much. those waiting room couches were horrible to sleep on. so i didn't even try. but we did a alot to keep ourselves awake and that involved bugging each other. it was fun.

i'm glad that i left and went there; i was so happy; am still so happy about Ann an d little Lilly. She's so cute; and sleeps alot.
besides that joy..i haven't still felt anybetter..

again..i'm skipping meals. i don't know why; but i am. i'm just not hungry anymore..
i guess it's my depression or whatever..

and i was upset about Bryan though. But i found he was trying to send me messages and i can't recieve them for some odd reason. i talked to him last nite; i was highly upset. i didn't know if he was leaving me hanging..though i wouldn't dare consider that somehow..

but he was pissed. and i realized that i would never go to college...that i can never do those things that they all can do. I can't do it. I can't seem to bring myself out of this mindset..>.> it sucks really. and my friend Andrew is crushing on me.

though myheart only belongs to Bryan..

O.o
this is just so weird. perhaps i'll get much thinner by the time he comes around for THanksgiving holiday? i can only hope. we're keeping in contact and that all matters..

I don't doubt it.

and soon i'll have anew layout here made by my friend..can hardly wait about that ^^ WHOOHOO! but yeah i know..long entry but i have so much to say ....^^ i thought merely he wasn't telling me; because he was trying to be mean..but that didnt' sound like him..

Ayumi

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10/08/08

Mood:content..

Cranking:Tomba Music.

Missing: Bryan

Hearting:Bryan

alot has happened in only 7 days..or rather a few days ago..but whatever. it has been something. AB was finally killed last week and Maddie kindly made us a new board at DL; though it makes no sense to me; but it does now.

it was sad; and also Karen who was my friend apparently was only using me to get to Bryan..>.> she's 16. she's way TOO young for him. it is a crime for her even to try;

and also i found another little fan of mine.. Andrew aka Dragon Anubis. He likes me apparently; but i have no thoughts or eyes for no one but Bryan. but it has been interesting i won't lie. and i got a new bed as well ^^

and speaking of that..i'm sleeping well again ^^ no more nightmares or anything. that's awesome i must say..mwahha XD and a new layout is coming. My friend Norn is coding it for me. XD you'll be amazed.

Ayumi

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Posted at 01:57 pm by Akkiko
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Wednesday, October 08, 2008

another new thing

09/23/08

Mood:a bit sad..

Cranking:watching Sailor Moon R.

Missing: Bryan

Hearting:Bryan

Last Update:

it's true...he's gone. He left yesterday for St. Louis; and we talked. Isn't that grand?
but i'm really sad..really. really. I miss him tons; but i know this is for the best. He won't have his mum over his shoulder and he can be a cop. ^^ though i want to think he's lying about leaving. I guess i want to believe he's still here somehow. He might not be, but i want to believe that somehow.

maybe i'm just having a hard time accepting this......

that could be it. I believe in us and i believe in him. I'm not worried about his loyalty..or what he's up against. He's truly in love with me and wouldn't dare..
oh well..oh well..

I miss him lots..

*sobs*

at least we can be in contact with each other without any fear. ^^ or hindrance.
i love my sweetheart to deathies ^^

Ayumi

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09/20/08

Mood:okay....

Cranking:Within You from labyrinth.

Missing: Bryan and food ^^

Hearting:Bryan

Last Update:

it's been awhile hasn't it? i've decided to keep this layout for a little longer. Though
that is unsual but i love it too damn much! anyhow, a lot has happened to me..
and it's been odd too. No longer can i go over and visit Bryan; his mum has put a stop to that. I was sure myself last monday. but whatever.

he still doesn't have his call nor his cellfone but apparently he's going to St. Louis on a scholarship. I'm happy but that completely shocked me.

but i'm happy that he's leaving his mum's house.she's nothing but trouble, always trying to control him and that's no good. But hell, i'm happy even if i don't know the full details of it.
i'm just happy.but it won't be until a few months that he leaves.

and i'm trying to hang out with him on his birthday or before it. I got him the cutest gift ever. anyhow..and i've been sick for awhile..at least since Friday; my cousin came over this last week where everyone at her household had the stomach flu. and i got it. today should be the last day of my ordeal..hopefully..

i didn't even go to work either. I wouldn't of made it anyhow. oh well.

i hope it all goes well. lol..

Ayumi

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Posted at 05:27 pm by Akkiko
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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

warphole

08/20/08

Mood:blah!..

Cranking:Uptown girl by Billy Joel..

Missing: Bryan and my sanity ..

Hearting:Bryan..

Last Update: ^_^ well i saw him today..i'm soo fucking happy..I CAN'T HARDLY BELIEVE IT! yes and i have pics of his crazy self..it's soo funny..i honestly didn't believe i'd see him today..but i did! Luck actually pulls me through and i was totally esactic(sp)
and when i did get to hug onto him.. I didn't let go..and boy how i feel when i was in his arms..but he was really tired and hadn't forgotten about my birthday! He got me a model toy 1963 Corevette yet he doesn't have a car either.. but I MISS HIM NOW!
my heart is swirly..i love it =) he tried to come over to my party but couldn't because his mum is stalin..but he was happy.. and i got play around with him..=)

though i haven't been feeling quite good..ive been trying to feel better..though it is hard myself. Honestly it is. and aunt Benita saved me.. wheeeeeeee only partially..and i got a sunburn again and he promised to talk to me more..=) how did i fall in love with the sweetest man ever?
anyhow..totally lost my cool and totally lost myself. Cried repeatedly..maybe i did want to cry when i saw him again..slammed doors when i got home. laid in my bed...and i was made to remember what is most important..SCHOOL! SCHOOL and if i have to do it..then i should do it for myself then do it for Aunt Benita as well..trying to play Xenosaga 2 because again..Bryan wants to know if i GOT on his game yet..lmao.. he always ask that.. i guess being an outcast isn't so bad

at least i have my dear lover to join me in that ranks.. GOD I HATE MY DEPRESSION! but yeah..i'm a live..and WILLING TO KILL..jk of course..i feel that bad..i might even have OCD..@_@ i wouldn't be amazed nor surprised. lol but yeah..
that is my super big rant enjoy..and maybe i'll stop hating myself..whatever..such bs.. but yeah..^_^ i'm lucky to be loved like i am

Ayumi

1 vote

Comments

09/01/08

Mood:happy..

Cranking:Anthems of a 17 year old girl by BSS..

Missing: Bryan ..

Hearting:Bryan..

Last Update:
well.. bryan is being is usual cheery self. Lmao. He is still telling me he isn't good enough for me. it's annoying really. I told him repeatedly and i'll call him tomorrow..partly in wanting to hear his voice and talk to him regardless of what it is or was.
we'll be fine. I'm just so happy too much. just updating. I can't really say too much..=) i just miss him lots and can't wait to see him again and reassure him again. I love him too much for him to be stupid like he is..sometimes.. but hell

i must be some damn special person that he believes that about himself...i wonder why..calling him tomorrow.. ^^ and yes i'm alive..working all this week..*sighs*

Ayumi

2 votes

Comments

Posted at 01:17 pm by Akkiko
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Monday, September 01, 2008

create me

08/06/08

Mood:depressed..

Cranking:Love Love Love by Epik High..

Missing: Bryan and Dave..

Hearting:Jonathan Crane..^_^..lmao..

Last Update: depressed..just bored..nothing to do anymore..but luckily i wrote a lot more..=) im soo happy..i managed to finish chapter 2 but im finding myself..missing him.. that's always a plus..still having nightmares and doubting people..again...my paranio(sp) is taking over..and any reason left in me..is insanely crazy..
I think i should be taken and strapped in..which sucks.. my reality is slowly slipping..and im sure to fucking notice it ... im uberly depressed..>.> now..and my eating habits haven't been stellar..i feel like im starving too much..and usually sometimes i can go without food...and i eat at weird times..and stay up all nite..and sleep all day..
Im starving myself again! and i purposely ignore my hunger! i can't explain why...>.> it just sucks honestly..I'll prolly die..and not having Bryan here to tell me..im not crazy doesn't help..i honestly miss him..so fucking much..no car..and no fone..>.> the only communication we have is internet..and email..geez..but why would he even bother? im screwed..
at least my birthday is coming up..^_^

Ayumi

Unrated

08/08/08

Mood:ubberly excited!..

Cranking:Bohemien Rhaspody by Queen..

Missing: Bryan ..

Hearting:Jonathan Crane..and the Dark Knight..=)lmao..

Last Update:

it's my birthday!

so happy birthday to me..and yes my weekend is going to be awesome..seeing the dark knight tonite..=) should be fucking great.. wheeeeeeeeeee my weekend should be even funnier..having a party sunday.. i turn 19 today..wheee

Ayumi

Unrated

Comments

');" target=_self> Comments

Posted at 03:04 pm by Akkiko
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Wednesday, August 06, 2008

love love

07/24/08

Mood:burning and..there ^>^..

Cranking:nothing..

Missing: Bryan..

Hearting: nothing..

Last Update:
grrr..went swimming yesterday..and that exhausted me..

O.O for 3 hours..3 frickken hours..but it was fun except i got sunburned again..

!(%*($%(*%^(*(%^*(^%*(^*(*%(*$(&(^#%&(*%$(&$%*&@%*&@

that pisses me off..lmao

but anyhow..haven't heard from Bryan..so i suppose he's working..alot..
at cleaning floors and crap..i bet he's ready to see me..^.^ and im turning 19 soon! SO YEAH! but i wonder what will happen this year..it's all different..as i can see..but i hope it turns out good somehow..im just hoping..lmao

Ayu

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07/17/08

Mood:lonely and missing..

Cranking:NO such thing by John Mayer

Missing: Bryan and Dave!..

Hearting: music..

Last Update:

geez..do i ever feel so lonely..been trying to talk to Bryan..and it hasn't worked..*sigh* i had a bad meltdown..this week..and doubt that he cared too much..geez
but yeah..

and his friend is so stupid..oh let me elobrate..lol i swear..the forum i am going to.the one he is on..the people are intolerable really. They are hypocrits..to the highest degree. and he was...wigging out..this last weekend..so was i..

bitches..
they have no idea..here i can flame..and i don't care..they are hypocrits..both Monty and JR..fucking bitches..and if i could..id both bitch slap them..for they need it. I swear..she thinks she's so better...with her conscending manner..it makes me sick..

AH!

geez..>.<

and it's lonely..and yes i do try to open up..but others pushme away..so i give up..and hide myself..

and im still upset at Bryan..for not at least telling me what was wrong..i hardly believe that bitch Jr to really of gone through what i have..or done what i done..

im still upset..that's why i haven't been eating..ive been depressed..

i have..
i mean..seriously..im his gf..geez..i should of went to my dad's this week..lol..but no matter..the house is being watched..lol..which is just so fucking creepy..lol

and i don't know when i'll see him..

in 3 weeks..it's my bday..and im afraid..he'll forget that..geez..bastards..

and our anniversary..geez..

our one year.

ive been crazy..because my period has been bothering me..all because i forgot to take my Yaz at the correct time.great.My pmdd just makes it all worse. Never felt that bad since..I was never on my BC. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr well i guess..
i see the hypocrits everywhere..and that's interesting..and..

his mum..hacking into his myspace..still hasn't unbanned me..gotta tell him to do that..he's slow to do anything like that..i feel completely ignored when she's around..like she's better than me.. oh well...
 
gotta figure out what i have to get him..

O.O
that should be fucking fun..grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

should he really deserve something? i guess..i still love him..and he loves..but oh well..

he's been rather cold to me..since i left..Thursday.I swear..he's rite..he can't lie to me when im there..infront of him..oh well..i'll be patient..but at least explain why im hurt..

it stings a bit now..fading now..

but yeah..lol

Ayu

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Posted at 10:03 pm by Akkiko
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ABOUT ME

NAME: Ayumi aka Michelle
NICKNAMES:Akkiko,Lin,Jr., Bowling ball(thanks to Enoch and Scott) Your dream, Ed/Faye and many more..etc..and when I am in the turks.. I go by Yomiko! General Napoleon or General Me'Shell Napoleon, White Chocolate, short one, annoying one, brat, spoiled brat, Shelly, Shelley, Shell,princess, Charmaine, shorty,Evil oompa loompa(Ricky), Oompa Loompa(Assface), little person(some ppl..and toshi), munchkin(some ppl),little people, midget(LeeAnn yet again..) Teddy(tasha and allison)John(everyone by my jacket that says John) Daywalker(Toshi) Aryan/Nazi(Toshi cause i am german. .i have blonde-dirty blonde hair and blue eyes)

INTERESTS

HOBBIES: writing, poetry, reading, making up speeches, writing essays, watching tv talking on the phone, being on the computer and playing video games
FAVE ANIME NOW: Kare Kano, Revolutionary girl Utena, Boogiepop Phantom, etc

Merci/Credit

Merci to all my friends and family for being that interesting inspiration in me and also i would give credit to those who made these avies..

Links

Xx My facebookxX
Xx My xanga xX
Xx My tumblrxX
Xx My myspacexX

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